For World Siblings Day on April 10thSelfish or particularly cooperative? Stubborn sibling clichés put to the test

April 10, 2026 around 11:23 Clock

Are only children more selfish than children with siblings?

Here the opinions of the experts differ: Studies indicate that only children are more self-centered than children with siblings, says the chairwoman of the Federal Association for Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Inés Brock-Harder. “Of course it has a psychological and developmental influence whether a child grows up alone with their parents,” says the sibling therapist.

It is not a cliché that only children are exposed to different influences in their early childhood than children who spend large parts of their childhood with siblings. This also applies to those firstborns who do not have a sibling until after seven years at the earliest.

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According to the therapist, the many studies on the one-child policy in China can also serve as background: Only children showed higher egocentrism and lower social skills. Because of the lack of interaction with siblings, skills such as sharing and cooperation are less developed, says Brock-Harder. In addition, a lower frustration tolerance was determined. Some of these findings could be transferred to Germany, where children in daycare and school could still mature.

Personality psychologist Julia Rohrer from the University of Leipzig contradicts this assessment: If at all, studies often only find small differences, for example in prosocial behavior. Depending on the study, only children sometimes even show less selfish behavior.

Sandwich kids want to please everyone – is that really true?

According to sibling therapist Brock-Harder, current studies show that that honesty and modesty are more common in sandwich children. This refers to children who have at least one older and one younger sibling. They are also considered to be more compatible and even perform best among siblings when it comes to cooperative characteristics. Agreeable children are children who are, among other things, cooperative, humble and empathetic.

Personality psychologist Rohrer, on the other hand, says: “There are no dramatic personality differences found in the literature for sandwich children either.” However, a recent study supports the thesis that middle children have a slightly higher level of tolerability than last-born children – and that these in turn are slightly more tolerable than first-born children.

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Do parents really always have a favorite child?

In fact, many parents have favorite children. In general, preference was often given to girls and particularly dutiful and sociable childrenreported a research duo in the journal Psychological Bulletin last year.

According to the analysis, parents tend to prefer girls more than boys – and surprisingly not only mothers, but also fathers. In addition, conscientious, responsible children are more likely to be favored. In both cases the effects were only mild. However, parents should be aware of this, wrote lead author Alexander Jensen from Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, and McKell Jorgensen-Wells from Western University in London, Ontario, Canada.

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Parents want fewer children and if they do, they want girls

Parents are having fewer children compared to before. According to the Federal Statistical Office, the birth rate was 1.35 children per woman in 2024 – two percent lower than in the previous year. Expectations of parents, but also of the child, are correspondingly high, says Anna-Lena Zietlow, Professor of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology at the Technical University of Dresden. “You want the very best for your child. But it also has to fit well into life – to put it bluntly.”

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Generations ago, parents wanted a male offspring who could inherit the farm. But some studies now suggest that there may be a preference for girls in Western cultures, the researcher said recently. “I think a lot of gender stereotypes also play a role.” Girls are considered more well-adjusted, caring and hardworking. Boys, on the other hand, are wilder, more prone to violence and do worse at school, it is often said.

Under the hashtag “Gender Disappointment” – that is, gender disappointment – there are many videos on TikTok of disappointed parents because their baby is not the gender they want. This seems to be more common when the baby is a boy. Women also report in Internet forums for parents that they have always wanted a girl and are now struggling with the fact that it is a boy after all. (dpa/vho)

Source used: DPA