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“The entire family picture is falling apart”After allegations against Ulmen: Expert classifies what this could mean for the daughter (13).
Collien Fernandes makes serious allegations against her ex-husband Christian Ulmen. (archive image)
picture alliance / SvenSimon | Malte Ossowski/SVEN SIMON
A world must be collapsing for them.
Collien Fernandes makes serious allegations against her ex-husband Christian Ulmen. They both have a daughter together who is 13 years old. RTL asked a psychologist: What happens to a child when headlines like these suddenly affect their own family?
“Children and young people always have an ideal image of their parents”
“Such news is extremely stressful for a 13-year-old, especially when you are in public. The entire family image shatters,” says child and adolescent psychotherapist Christian Lüdke. “Children and young people always have an ideal image of their parents and family. This is very, very stressful for such a young person because they are currently in a phase of identity development.”
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Collien Fernandes' daughter is 13 years old and is in the middle of puberty. A phase in which the opinions of others suddenly become enormously important, according to the psychotherapist. This could be exactly where the danger lies. “It may be that they (other young people, editor's note) show a lot of empathy, that they have understanding. But they also have to expect that there will be a lot of nasty jokes and sayings, which can then massively offend.”
Child and adolescent psychotherapist Christian Lüdke.
RTL
Added to this is the public eye, even though her parents try to consciously keep her out of the spotlight. “Such a young person is basically defenseless when all this news comes to the public. You have no control,” says Christian Lüdke.
Video tip: “This person” – in the RTL interview, Collien Fernandes hints at the hell she lives in
The expert emphasizes: “There is an enormous breach of trust between daughter and father. This can trigger feelings of anger, sadness and shame.” That's why the girl needs one thing above all else: peace, distance and rock-solid support. The mother often takes on this role. “The mother is always the most important reference and attachment figure for a young girl,” says Lüdke.
According to him, a crisis can bring mother and child even closer together. “Such news can lead to mother and daughter having an even stronger, closer relationship, and essentially forming a community of shared destiny.” And a clear message is needed: “Together we will do it.”
Ulmen's lawyers responded to a request from RTL with an email that cannot be quoted. Questions about the allegations against Ulmen remained unanswered. The presumption of innocence applies until a conviction is made.
Sources used: own RTL research
