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THAT is a real love killerWhen does the most beautiful thing in the world actually become unhealthy?
Not a taboo topic!
Not all sex is the same, that much is clear to everyone. Getting intimate can be good for your body and soul. But there are signs that those involved should pay attention. Sexual medicine doctor Dr. explains what is important when it comes to healthy sex. Stefanie Kossow in an RTL interview in our video.
Why healthy sex can calm the body
Dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins. When people have sex, the whole body works. The heart, circulation, lungs and muscles get going. At the same time, the exchange of body fluids can stimulate the immune system. That sounds like a little health booster. But healthy sex doesn't automatically happen just because two people become intimate. What is crucial is that closeness remains voluntary, safe and consistent.
Sexual medicine doctor Dr. Stefanie Kossow knows: “If we have good physical contact, i.e. skin contact, that means that blood pressure drops, the pulse drops, and the stress hormone level drops.” This puts the body in a state of relaxation.
What is particularly exciting for the expert is the look at relationships that are really good for people.
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According to Kossow, those who feel safe in social and sexual relationships don't just experience more closeness. Based on large amounts of data, we can even see that “the mortality rate drops” when people live in relationships “that are good for us and that bring us down in the best sense of the word.”
Shame can be an important clue
Good sex is for Dr. Kossow no rigid schedule. She compares sexuality more to a playground, a gym or an open space. There you can try things out and see what fits. According to Kossow, even an unpleasant attempt can be a win. “Okay, that sucked, I don’t want to do it again,” is an important experience from which you can learn something about yourself. So it's not about functioning perfectly, but about getting to know yourself better.
You can find out why your own sense of shame is an important clue to healthy sex in the video above.
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When sex is bad for your health
As soon as sex becomes a task, it loses its good effect. “If we define sex as a task, as a duty, then it becomes a stressor”explains the sex researcher. And it is precisely this pressure that suddenly turns something relaxing into something stressful.
Therefore, the practice should not be the focus. Nor is there the expectation that there must necessarily be an orgasm at the end. Dr. Stefanie Kossow says clearly: “It’s not the practice, but the relationship with yourself and with your partner” that is crucial. So the feeling of being seen, being able to say no and not having to deliver what you want.
To ensure that sex remains stress-free afterwards, you also need to be informed about contraception and sexually transmitted diseases. Protected, voluntary, informed and with respected boundaries. Under these conditions, healthy sex can actually do a lot of good things in the body.
Sources used: RTL’s own research
